


What's a soulmate? (You, my love, are my infinite)

by DamnSawyer



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Feelings, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Soulmate au (kinda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:46:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24948640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamnSawyer/pseuds/DamnSawyer
Summary: "Mama, I have a question."Maggie took the bowl and handed it to Alex to start with the pancakes. "What do you want to know, baby?"And Jamie didn't take long to answer, and the question came from her lips. "Mama, what is a soulmate?"
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 81
Kudos: 223





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 'You, my love, are my infinite' - Atticus. 
> 
> \--------
> 
> mistakes are all mine, unbeta'd

Six weeks.

Six weeks and nothing has been the same anymore. No more chasing the bad guys, or visits to their favorite bar to end the evening with a (heated) game of pool and a round of beer and chips. Gone were the nights they spent in the arms of each other, naked and blissful. Gone were the morning quickies in the shower or the kitchen just before work. And definitely gone were the evenings the couple spent together in the bathtub, surrounded by dimmed light, soft music, relaxing in warm water, wrapped up in each other's arms. 

For the last six weeks, the nights were no longer filled with alcohol and passionate lovemaking. They were filled with soft cries coming from the crib right next to their bed and no matter how exhausting these nights were, that cute little face, looking up to them made it worth it. 

"She has your eyes."

"And your dimples. The cutest, littlest dimples I've ever seen in my life. I'm already having a hard time resisting yours, now imagine me trying to say no to her."

Her wife chuckled softly, her eyes taking in the little girl, her tiny hand clutched around a stuffed animal, tiny eyes looking around. 

"Good morning, baby."

"Good morning, sweetie pie." 

Alex wrapped her arms around Maggie, fingers sneaking underneath the soft fabric of her tank top, her head resting on her shoulder, and her lips pressed a soft kiss on her wife's neck. "And a good morning to you, beautiful." 

Maggie sighed, content, putting her hands on Alex's. "Good morning, babe." She felt Alex's smile on her warm skin, and a wide smile spread across her face. "She's so beautiful. So perfect." 

"Just like her mama."

"And her mommy." 

Maggie bent down to her daughter, gently stroking her cheek, and Jamie yawned cutely but then smiled widely at her mommies for the very first time. 

And Maggie gasped in surprise, her hand squeezing Alex's. "Did you, did you see that, Alex? Her first smile. Our baby smiled for the first time." 

Alex nodded softly, her lips curled into a smile. Her daughter's soft smile had enchanted and captivated her. This little girl was her daughter and she couldn't wait to find out what she got from whom. "And your smile. She has your smile, Maggie. Can you believe she's ours? A part of you, a part of me?"

Maggie nodded silently, a small smile on her face. "Yeah, thanks to my wife who's a freaking genius." And then she turned in Alex's arms to kiss her wife tenderly. 

Pressing her forehead against Alex's, Maggie took in the moment. She was happy, so, so unbelievably happy to call Alex her wife and the little girl their daughter. "I wanna stay forever in this moment," Maggie whispered softly. 

Alex chuckled lightly. "I don't know about forever, but maybe we can just settle for the morning?" 

"I would like that." 

***

"I can't do this anymore."

It was late. Jamie had finally fallen asleep, and Alex and Maggie could finally wind down from an eventful day spent at the playground. Jamie was an energetic little girl, and no matter how athletic Maggie and Alex were, Jamie kept them on their toes. 

Alex stood in front of the mirror, her hair wet from the shower as she slipped into her tank top and boy shorts, eyes never leaving her wife. "Hey, Jamie will get used to her new bed. It's just new to her," Alex said, as she slipped under the blanket, a small smile on her face, as she reached out and tucked Maggie's hair behind her ear, softly brushing over her cheek. 

But Maggie shook her head. She wasn't talking about the tiring nights when Jamie refused to go to her own big girls bed. She wouldn't mind if the almost three-year-old would find a peaceful sleep between her mommies, with Alex singing her to sleep. 

Maggie closed her tired eyes, gasping for air. Her heart was pounding and she felt a cold rush taking over her body, making her shiver. She tried to breathe, trying to calm down but she gasped again for air. 

"Hey, I'm here," Alex whispered softly, as she moved closer, taking Maggie's hand to put it over her heart. "Feel the beating of my heart, baby. Try to take a deep breath… Yes, just like that. In and out."

Alex hadn't seen Maggie in such a panic for a very long time and she wondered what was going on inside her. Was it because she was due to return to work for the NCPD in a few weeks? Scared to miss important milestones in her little girl's life? 

She knew what it was like going back to work, not having enough time to see her little girl growing up, enjoying every moment in her life. 

Minutes passed by, and eventually, Maggie calmed down again, thanks to Alex's voice and her soothing words. "You did good, baby. You wanna tell me what's going on inside of you?"

Maggie sat up in bed, her hands running through her hair, taking another deep breath, relieved she could breathe a little easier. "There's too much violence in the world and we both have a very dangerous job. And we have Jamie, we can't risk our lives anymore. We have a little girl who depends on us to take care of her, to protect her from the evil in the world. We should show her all the beautiful things in the world, to teach her our values, and how important it is to respect everyone."

Maggie turned to Alex, wondering what her wife would think. Alex sat up too, kissed Maggie's temple, and took her hands in hers. Maggie's fears were  _ her  _ fears, every single word sounded so familiar. Jamie was their top priority, making sure the little girl was growing up safely was their new job. "You want to quit your job as a detective?" 

She nodded. So many nights were spent thinking about her future and the future of her little family. Yes, she swore to protect the world, but after giving birth to Jamie, the little girl became her world. "Yes, I've been thinking about quitting my job. I know, keeping the city safe will keep Jamie safe too, but I can't risk my life. Not anymore. I hope you understand, Alex."

Alex would support Maggie in every decision she made. Her wife had chosen to protect their little girl, and that made Alex's heart bust with so much love and admiration. "You're amazing, Maggie. I'm lucky to call you my wife." Maggie snuggled up to Alex, who wrapped her arms around her wife. "Let's get some sleep because knowing our little troublemaker, she'll be up at six in the morning." 

Both laid down, Maggie still in Alex's arms, head resting on her chest, the steady heartbeat in her ear. "I'm proud of you, baby. You're giving up your career to be there for our girl. I'll talk to J'onn in the next few days. Maybe I can retire from fieldwork and go back to work in the lab." 

But Alex never talked with J'onn and she never stepped down from her work as a field agent. 

Days after her talk with Maggie, Cadmus was back, and without thinking about how to ensure the safety of her little family, Alex could no longer quit her job as a field agent. Not when she was so close avenging her father's death.

The night Maggie found out about Alex's decision she couldn't hide her disappointment in her wife's decision. She wanted to yell at her, but the little girl who was asleep in her arms, snuggled closer to her mom, tiny hand wrapped around one of her fingers. 

Just looking at her girl helped her to calm down, and she remembered how important it was for Alex to destroy Cadmus once and for all. She wanted revenge for her father's death, but all Maggie wanted was a peaceful life with Alex and Jamie. 

It just seemed like both had a different vision of their future. 

***

_ One year later  _

Maggie enjoyed the early hours of the morning when the sun rose slowly above the horizon and bathed the city in warm light, as the citizens of National City rose to start their days as well. 

She loved spending the quiet mornings on the balcony, looking up at the sky, a hot cup of freshly brewed coffee in her hands. Her gaze wandered across the street, taking in the few people who were already on their way to work, or perhaps left work to be on their way home. And soon, when Maggie had finished her coffee and helped the still sleeping four-year-old to get ready for today, she would find herself on the way to work as well. 

Taking another sip of her coffee, she slightly shuddered at the warmth of the drink warming her body. It was a brisk morning, and the coffee the only source of warmth. On mornings like this, she missed her wife, who would wrap her arms around her body from behind to protect her from the cold. 

Alex had always sneaked up on her, and before Maggie even noticed her presence, she had already wrapped her arms around her body and tenderly kissed her neck. 

She always had whispered a soft  _ baby, come back to bed _ , into her skin, and each time it had put a smile on Maggie's face. 

Maggie couldn't remember the last time she had felt Alex's arms wrapped around her body. Or when it was the last time Alex had woken her up with a tender kiss. She couldn't remember when it was the last time she had felt her fingers, making their way into her shorts, tickling her softly. 

All she could remember was that those moments were gone. A big part of her past was gone.

Maggie looked at the hand still wrapped around the coffee cup, the wedding band glistening in the morning sun and she sighed softly. 

Too much had happened in the last year and Maggie had barely been able to find some rest. She devoted every spare minute to Jamie to give her a carefree life, filled with all the love she could give. 

She fulfilled Jamie every wish, making sure not to spoil the young girl. 

And every morning when Maggie entered the nursery, Jamie was already awake, sitting in her bed, surrounded by her stuffed animals, giving her mother a tired but happy smile. 

"Mama?" 

At the sound of the sleepy voice, Maggie turned to her daughter, a soft smile on her lips. "Morning, baby. How'd you sleep?" 

Jamie stood in the doorway of the balcony, her dark hair sticking out in all directions, her tiny fist rubbing her eye, and the other one pointing to her little tummy. 

Maggie understood her without words and held out her hand to help Jamie onto the balcony. "Oh, baby, come here." 

Jamie climbed on the desk chair where her mother was sitting, getting wrapped up in a soft, thick blanket. Jamie sat between her mother's legs, facing her. "Now, you're all wrapped up." Maggie gently stroked her little cheek, smiling at her little girl. "Your tummy hurts?" Jamie nodded, and then she felt her daughter's forehead and noticed that she had a slightly raised temperature. "Okay, baby. Looks like we'll be spending the day together at home."

Jamie snuggled up to Maggie, her little fingers playing with hers. Maggie bent down to her daughter and kissed her gently on her dark hair. Carefully Maggie lifted her daughter into the air and let her wrap her tiny legs around her hips. It was too cold for the little girl outside.

"Let's go back inside, where you can get comfy on the couch watch some TV, while I'm making some tea for you," Maggie said, her arms wrapped protectively around Jamie. She closed the balcony door behind her and then made her way to the couch, gently laying her kid on the couch. "I'll be right there in the kitchen, baby." With a smile on her face, she brushed the dark hair out of her forehead and caressed her cheek softly. 

But Jamie shook her little head, and her tiny fist held on to Maggie's shirt. The soft whimpering coming from her daughter made Maggie soft and she decided to lie down on the couch with Jamie. 

"You're lucky you're cute," Maggie laughed, who took her phone and made herself comfortable on the couch, pulling the tiny body of her daughter closer. Jamie snuggled up to her mom, her tiny fingers grabbing the soft fabric of Maggie's shirt. 

With a smile on her lips, Maggie pulled the blanket over Jamie and unlocked her mobile phone to let her office know she's not coming in today. 

She sent another message to Kara, who wanted to go for ice cream with her niece this afternoon, and seconds later she received a message with sad emojis, followed by a little basket full of Jamie's favorite food on the balcony. Kara waved at her niece through the windows, and Jamie squealed softly, making grabbing hands. Maggie mouthed a little  _ thank you _ and Kara was on her way again. 

Jamie yawned, snuggled up tighter to her mom, and then fell asleep again. Maggie just smiled, as she opened another conversation on her phone, typing in the last message. 

_ Hey, your daughter is sick, probably a stomach bug. Maybe we should postpone this weekend? _

Maggie waited for a few seconds, and when the three dots appeared, she waited for the message to be sent. 

_ Of course, I understand. Poor baby, you want me to get her something? _

_ No, we're good.  _

She looked at the phone, sending another message. 

_ But thanks. _

_ Anytime, just, keep me updated, okay?  _

_ Will do.  _

Three dancing dots appeared and disappeared and it took a few minutes for the next message to appear on her phone. 

_ Thank you.  _

She took a deep breath, eyes on the sleeping little girl. There was so much to say, but right now she had to take care of her sick daughter. Talking to Alex needed to wait. 

***

Her daughter was sick, and she couldn't be there for her. And she was the only one to blame. If she hadn't acted so impulsive and reckless all those months ago, she would be able to able to take her daughter in her arms, cuddle her on the couch, taking care of her. 

She could show up at Maggie's door, and deep down inside herself, she knew Maggie wouldn't say no to Alex and would let her inside. 

Maggie would never forbid Alex to see her daughter, no matter what had happened in the past months. 

Alex was bent over her notebook, scribbling down facts and notes, connecting dots. The breakthrough was close, she could feel it. Cadmus was making mistakes, and this was finally Alex's chance to get closer to the organization that kept ruining her life. 

The hard works and sacrifices paid off and it was time to put the one running Cadmus behind bars for once and for all. 

Alex felt some fresh air wrapping around her body, and then she heard a  _ whoosh _ sound, followed by a red and blue streak in the air. 

"Alex..."

"Kara..."

Kara popped up right next to Alex, a worried look on her face. Her sister looked exhausted, tired. Kara knew her sister well and she was sure she spent all night in the lab again without taking a break. "Alex, when was the last time you took a break?"

Kara stood in front of the fridge, looking for something to eat, or at least some water. But it was empty. "When was the last time you had something to eat or drink?" 

Alex paused for a moment, thinking about Kara's words. She had no idea. Too many hours were spent in the lab working on the case to even think about basic needs. 

"Alex... " Kara's tone was harsh, decisive. 

Alex sighed, arms at her hips as she turned to her sister. "Have you nothing to do? Is there no one in National City who needs your help?"

Kara rolled with her eyes as she filled a glass with fresh water. "The only one who needs help is you, Alex. You should go home and get some sleep and then go see Jamie. I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Alex took the glass, taking a few sips, the glass resting on her lips. She was a badass agent, and yet it made her a little bit scared to show up at Maggie's door. 

"You know Maggie's gonna let you in, right?"

Alex nodded. 

Of course, she knew. She already thought about this. 

"So what are you waiting for? Get your stuff. I'll let J'onn know you've gone home." 

_ Home _ . 

Alex closed her eyes. 

She hadn't felt at home for a long time.

***

"Hey, baby."

Alex knelt before Jamie, her fingers gently brushed soft hair behind her daughter's ear. She took Kara's words to heart and went home to rest for a few hours. And after a much needed refreshing shower, and a small snack, Alex had slipped into her black leather jacket and made her way to Maggie. 

On her way she couldn't stop herself and stopped at Jamie's favorite toy store, buying another stuffed animal. And it might just be a stuffed animal, but Alex knew Jamie would love it. 

Jamie yawned as she opened her eyes, her tiny fists rubbing her tired eyes. Another yawn escaped her lips, and after blinking a few times, she realized who was kneeling in front of her. 

"Mommy!" Her eyes widened and a happy squeal left her little body. She threw herself in the open arms of her mom, who hugged her softly. 

Alex closed her eyes for a moment. The bright eyes and the joy in Jamie's face made her forget all her worries and fears. 

"How are you? Mama said your tummy hurts?" 

Jamie just nodded. 

"Oh, poor baby. Here I have something for you." Alex pulled a stuffed animal out from behind her back and held it out to Jamie, who immediately wrapped her tiny arms around the stuffed turtle. 

"Thank you, Mommy." 

Alex tucked a strand of hair behind Jamie's ear, booping her nose with a soft  _ boop _ , making Jamie giggle. "You're welcome, baby. There's even a hot-water bottle inside that'll keep your tummy nice and warm. Should I fill the hot-water bottle with some water?"

But Jamie shook her head and pointed to Maggie who leaned against the kitchen island watching the moment between Alex and Jamie. 

"Oh, you want your Mommy to fill the bottle?" Alex tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, but it was hard for her. All she wanted was to help her daughter to feel better. 

Jamie nodded, and held the turtle out to Maggie, who took the stuffed toy from her kid, a soft  _ sorry  _ on her lips as she looked at Alex. "Why don't you lay down again, Jamie? I'll be back in a few minutes." 

And while Jamie made herself comfortable on the couch again, Alex rose from the floor. Maybe leaving Jamie alone would be the best to help her to feel better soon. 

But then she felt Jamie's tiny fingers wrapping around two of her own fingers, keeping her from leaving her. "Mommy, don't leave. I want cuddles... Please." 

Alex smiled softly, as she made herself comfortable on the couch, pulling Jamie close. "I'll never leave you, baby," Alex whispered, pressing a little kiss on her daughter's dark hair. 

Maggie stopped herself for a moment, the stuffed turtle pressed against her chest. This was everything she wanted, Jamie and Alex. Her little family. Her eyes rested on Alex, who had wrapped her arms around Jamie's tiny body. Her eyes were closed, and a small, happy smile was on her lips. 

Quietly, Maggie came closer, making sure not to interrupt the moment between Jamie and Alex. Slowly she lifted the blanket up and carefully placed the stuffed animal on Jamie's tummy.

Even with closed eyes, Alex knew how close Maggie was, and she slowly opened her eyes. 

"Hey."

"Hi."

Alex smiled slightly. "Are you okay with that?"

Maggie nodded silently, her eyes finding Alex's. "Of course I am. You will be forever her mom, Alex." Maggie had to pull herself together. She couldn't let herself get carried away.

But all she wanted was to curl up on the couch with Alex and take care of Jamie together.

***

"I'm sorry for showing up like this." 

Alex leaned against the balcony door and watched Maggie in the glowing afternoon light. She was beautiful, even with all those worries and fears written all over her face. 

Alex sighed softly. She missed them, the hours they spent together, the sunday mornings on the couch with Jamie, watching cartoons and cuddling. She missed the early morning hours she spent with Maggie, arms wrapped around her body, the sweet scent of Maggie in her nose. 

And she missed Jamie, and how excited the little girl could be in the morning, knowing her day would be filled with exciting adventures. She missed the sparkle in her daughter's eyes, when she got up, realizing her mommy made her pancakes for breakfast. 

She missed all those moments that Maggie had given her when she had given birth to their daughter. 

Maggie turned around, as Alex's voice filled the air. "No, Alex. I'm sorry for telling you to stay away. I shouldn't have done that. You're her mother and you have a right to be there for her." 

Maggie had felt bad after the conversation with Alex. Her wife just wanted to be there for Jamie.

Alex looked at Maggie as she set foot on the balcony, and with a gentle smile, Maggie let her know that she was welcome to join her. She leaned against the railing next to Maggie. "It's okay, I'm not even mad. I know it's hard dealing with a sick kid and.. and everything… that's going on between us."

Alex was right, it was hard. This hasn't been the life she had imagined with Alex and Jamie. She wanted a life filled with love, and happiness and laughter and so much more. But instead of morning cuddles and making breakfast together, she had to explain to her four-year-old every day that she wouldn't see her mommy again until the next weekend.

"Where did we go wrong, Alex? What happened to us?"

Alex swallowed. 

It wasn't the first time she heard those questions. So many sleepless nights were spent asking herself the same questions.

_ Where did they go wrong?  _

_ What happened between them?  _

And Alex knew the answers, deep done she knew them. She didn't dare to look Maggie in the eyes, too afraid to speak out loud the reason why they had lost sight of their dreams and wishes.

"Maggie..."

But a sleepy voice interrupted Alex, and then she felt little hands on her legs. Looking down, she saw Jamie, smiling tiredly at her mommy. 

"Hey, baby. Why are you up?" Maggie smiled at her daughter softly, as she picked her up, feeling her forehead. 

Still warm. 

"Hungry."

"Oh, you hungry?" Alex asked, tickling her daughter slightly. "Shall Mama and I make pancakes?"

"Pancakes in the afternoon?" Jamie's eyes widened, a wide smile on her face. 

"Yes, pancakes in the afternoon," Maggie laughed, who carried Jamie into the apartment and sat her down on the kitchen island. "You wanna help, baby?" 

And Jamie nodded excitedly.

***

Neither Maggie nor Alex couldn't stop smiling as they fell back into their familiar routines and prepared food for Jamie together. And Jamie enjoyed the time she spent with her two mothers too, although the little girl was way more focused on the chocolate chips that found their way into Jamie's mouth when no one was looking.

"Jamie, would you like to put the chocolate chips in the batter?" Maggie turned to Jamie, bowl in hand, and at that moment, Jamie stuffed a handful of chocolate chips in her mouth.

Jamie grinned at her cheekily, chocolate smeared across her mouth. Jamie held the packet over the bowl and just a handful of chocolate chips fell into the bowl. "Oh, oopsie." 

Maggie laughed softly, as she shook her head. "You and your mommy just can't keep your hands off the chocolate chips. Seems like we need to make the best out of it."

Jamie just grinned as Maggie put the bowl between her legs so she could stir. Jamie's tiny fist wrapped around the whisk and she started stirring, her little tongue poked out between her teeth.

Jamie's concentrated face reminded Maggie of Alex when she was working on complex work and needed to put her focus on it. All that was missing was that little Danvers' wrinkle between her eyes.

"Good job, baby. We're ready for the first..."

But Maggie couldn't finish her sentence because Jamie's voice interrupted her. "Mama, I have a question."

Maggie took the bowl and handed it to Alex to start with the pancakes. "What do you want to know, baby?" 

And Jamie didn't take long to answer, and the question came from her lips. "Mama, what is a soulmate?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue?
> 
> (Sanvers will always be soulmates)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wow, soulmates are awesome," Jamie said, her eyes shining bright, smiling at her parents. "Mama, is mommy your soulmate?" 
> 
> Maggie smiled slightly, looking at Jamie and then at Alex. "Yes, baby."
> 
> "Oh!" Jamie said, thinking about the conversation she had with her mommies realizing something. "Can mommy come back and live with us again?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos, makes me happy you guys are enjoying it!  
> I'll get back at everyone asap! I promise!  
> \----
> 
> There's going to be some flashbacks, one set at the beginning of the relationship, the others a few weeks before the first chapter.  
> \-----  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine!

_Mama, what is a soulmate?_

Maggie swallowed, and Alex almost dropped the bowl. That was definitely a question they didn't expect coming from their little girl. How did she even know that word existed? She was four years old. 

Alex looked at Maggie, who leaned against the kitchen island, looking at Jamie, her arms wrapped around Jamie's little body to keep her from falling off the kitchen island. 

Alex saw how tense Maggie was and no one but Alex would understand why Maggie would have a hard time answering that simple question. 

The word _soulmates_ was more than just a word for them. It was how they've defined their relationship. 

With big eyes, Jamie looked at her mama, curious to hear the answer. 

"Well, that's a pretty big word for someone so tiny," Maggie said, her finger booping Jamie's little nose, making her giggle. 

And Alex just chuckled at her little girl giggling, while her mind got lost in the past, remembering a much happier time. 

_Flashback_

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Alex stood in the kitchen, trying to look for the bottle opener for the beer in her hand. But she's been distracted by Maggie, who was sitting at the table, her wet hair loosely tied together, pencil behind her ear, and she was concentrated on some file. 

And Alex smiled at the domestic scene and the thought that Maggie Sawyer was her girlfriend. 

_Girlfriend._

_Her girlfriend._

Weeks later and Alex still couldn't believe it. Maggie just made her happy, so damn happy. 

Her relationship with Maggie was still new, and so, so exciting. Every day brought new adventures and memories. Every smile, every soft touch of Maggie made those damn crazy butterflies in her stomach flap their wings, and Alex caught herself more than once blushing in the presence of her girlfriend. 

_Her girlfriend._

She would never get tired of calling Maggie Sawyer her girlfriend. 

And those feelings Maggie awakened in her? Alex never knew she was able to feel them and she never wanted to miss these feelings. She would do anything to make sure that they had a future together.

"Hmm?" Maggie looked up from the pile of files she took with her when she left work. 

Alex closed a kitchen drawer, two open bottles in her hand. "Soulmates. Do you believe in them?" Alex joined Maggie at the tables, glasses slipping off her nose. 

Maggie turned to Alex, a small smile on her lips, as she pushed the glasses back on Alex's nose. "Yeah. What about you?" She booped Alex's nose making her blush lightly. 

"I don't… I mean, I didn't," Alex said, her eyes on Maggie. "But then I met you, and everything made so much sense suddenly and you're perfect and so sweet, and amazing and so, hot. You're so, so hot, Maggie." Alex rumbled, not stopping herself or the blush creeping up her neck and cheeks. 

_Damn you, Maggie Sawyer._

Maggie chuckled softly, her hand reaching out for Alex's, intertwining her fingers with Alex's. "You're cute, Alex. And so, so hot too," Maggie said, a cheeky, playful smile on her face, making Alex blush again. "You want to know something?" 

Alex just nodded, not trusting her own voice in the presence of Maggie. Her rumblings were already embarrassing enough. 

"I didn't always believe in soulmates," Maggie said, squeezing Alex's hand. "I've met some women in my life. Some stayed for a long time, some left after a few weeks. And I liked them, I really did, but I couldn't imagine my life with them. But then I met you, and I remembered the dreams I had when I was little." 

Alex chuckled softly. 

"Yeah, I know." Maggie smiled, pulling Alex closer. "All I ever wanted was to find the person that understood me without me saying a word. The person who would see the best in me, not judging me for my past or my flaws. The person who wouldn't leave my side when times get rough, helping me to be a better person. The person who would complete my soul."

Alex swallowed and pointed at herself. "Am I that person? Are you talking about me?" 

Maggie nodded. "Only if you want. I like you, Alex. I really do. I think what we have is something special, something magical. When I'm thinking about my future your face is the first image that comes to my mind. I like what we're having. I love waking up to your smile, me holding you, starting the day together…"

"Really?" 

"Really."

 _Flashback End_

Alex smiled at the fond memory. That night paved her relationship with Maggie. It was the beginning of many more moments and memories Alex kept close to her heart. 

She heard her daughter giggle, and with a smile on her face, she turned to Maggie and Jamie. No matter what happened or will happen between them, Jamie was the best damn thing that ever happened to her. 

The little girl laughed, a loud giggle filled the room. "Mama, stop." And then, Jamie got serious again. The question still on her mind. She was curious, always on her way to new adventures exploring her little world on her own. "What is a soulmate?" 

Maggie took a deep breath. 

She never wanted to deny her daughter an answer, but so many memories and emotions were connected to that word and Maggie wasn't sure if she was ready to dive into those. 

Maggie was struggling, and she felt so stupid. It was just an innocent question from her curious little girl. 

She took another deep breath, but before she could answer she saw Alex leaning beside her. "Hey, pretty girl," Alex said softly, tapping on Jamie's leg. 

And the little girl turned to her mommy, a little smile on her face. "Hi, Mommy." 

Maggie felt relieved that Alex took over the conversation and gave her time to sort out her feelings. And she leaned a little bit closer to her wife, her shoulder touching Alex's. "Thank you." 

Alex nodded, and then she turned to Jamie again. "Where did someone so tiny learn such a big word?" 

Jamie shrugged with her little shoulders for a moment, tongue poking out, thinking about it. "Oh," Jamie said suddenly, and it seemed like she remembered. "Auntie Kara said you're soulmates." 

_Flashback_

"And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye…"¹ She paused for a moment to turn to the next page in the book, her eyes on the sleepy little girl in her arms. With a soft smile, she closed the book and pulled the blanket over her granddaughter. 

The pause didn't go unnoticed by the younger woman in the kitchen. "Eliza, why did you stop? This is the best part!" Kara stood in the hallway, a hot chocolate for Jamie in her hand, and a little frown on her face. "You know how much I love that part." 

Eliza smiled softly. "How can I forget?! It was the first book Jeremiah read to you when you've arrived on earth. You made Alex read it to you every single night."

Memories of a much simpler time filled Eliza's mind, and sometimes she caught herself missing those moments. And for a few minutes, she let herself live in the past when her kids were still teenagers and they fought over who should use the bathroom first. But still, she preferred the present, especially when she had the chance to spend some quality time with her granddaughter. 

"And she hated me so much for that." Kara's loud laughter filled the room. 

"Kara, shhh." Eliza put a finger on her lips, letting Kara know to be quiet, as the sleeping girl moved in her sleep. 

"Oh. I'm sorry." Kara joined Eliza in the living room, taking the seat across from her. "She must be tired from the long drive to Midvale. Maggie said she didn't sleep very well last night. She was too excited to see you again." 

Eliza smiled at her granddaughter, brushing soft hair behind her ear. "She wasn't the only one who was excited." 

"Alex said she didn't shut up about how happy she was seeing you again," Kara said, sipping on the hot chocolate. "You know, we would love it if you would move to National City."

"I know. But I'm still waiting for the moment Alex and Maggie decide to settle down here in Midvale. It's a perfect place for a little girl to grow up." Eliza d thought about moving to National City to be closer to her daughters and Jamie, but even after all those years, she wasn't ready to leave the memories in Midvale behind. 

"Do you think they gonna be okay? Maggie and Alex. I need them to be okay, Eliza."

Eliza looked from Jamie and then to Kara, unsure how to answer that question. The current situation of Alex and Maggie has been on her mind since the day Alex broke the sad news to her. And ever since she tried her best to help them fix it. But Alex and Maggie needed to figure it out on her own. All Eliza could do was being there for them, giving them some advice, trying to help. 

"I-..." 

She stopped herself as the little girl squirmed in her arms, looking up at her tiredly. "Grandma?" Her tiny voice piped up, her little fist rubbed her left eye. 

Eliza looked down at Jamie, hoping she didn't hear Kara and her talking about her parents. "Yes, sweetheart?" 

Jamie sat up and wrapped the blanket around her small body, just like Maggie usually did. She yawned, her eyes cutely squinted a little bit as she looked at Kara, who had moved closer, and then back to Eliza. "Do my mama and mommy love me?" 

Kara gasped, and Eliza looked at Jamie, trying to hide the shock written all over her face. Both didn't expect such a heavy question from the little girl. 

Eliza wasn't so sure if she was the right person to have this conversation with Jamie. Maggie and Alex would be definitely the better fit but both were spending the day together working on their relationship. "Oh, Jamie, why do you think that?" 

Kara's heart was heavy for her niece. She was such a happy little girl, surrounded by love and joy and it broke her heart hearing her asking that question.

"Mommy left and Tommy in kindergarten said it is because my mommies don't love me anymore." Her voice was so small, filled with so much sadness. Her little fingers were playing with a loose string on the blanket, and when she looked up at her grandma with sad eyes it broke Eliza's and Kara's heart. 

Eliza scooped Jamie in her arms, hugging her tight, kissing her hair softly. "Don't ever think your mommies don't love you. Your mommies love you very much and they will always love you. You're their greatest gift."

Jamie sobbed softly, her little fists rubbing her eyes. She was just a little girl, already facing so much in her short life. Thinking that her mommies don't love her anymore broke the little girl. 

"Oh, baby, come here." Eliza held her close, rubbing small circles on the back of her granddaughter, trying to help her calm down. 

Kara was furious. No one was messing with Supergirl's niece. She sat down next to Jamie, wiping tiny tears from red cheeks. "Everything's going to be okay, Jamie. Like your grandma said your mommies will always love you, no matter what. And you're still too young to understand it now but you sealed your mommies bond as soulmates."

Jamie was definitely too young to understand Kara's words but she needed to hear them. She needed to believe that one day Alex and Maggie will find their way back to each other. 

Later that night, a very angry superhero floated in front of Tommy Brandt's window, threatening the young boy to throw his collection of superheroes into the sun if he ever made Jamie cry again. 

_Flashback End_

_Oh, for fucks sake, Kara_. 

Maggie knew that Kara meant well and meant no harm. How could she know that she had a conversation with Alex about soulmates at the beginning of their relationship?

Alex lifted Jamie in her arms and walked over to the couch in the living room, and sat down with Jamie in her lap. Maggie followed them immediately, taking the seat at the other end of the couch. 

"You remember Mia, don't you?" Alex asked, brushing a few loose strands from Jamie's hair behind her ear. 

When Jamie heard her friend's name, her eyes started to light up. "Yeah, Mia!"

"And remember what Mama said when Mia had to move away?"

Jamie looked at her mommy, and then she shook her head. "No."

"Well, she said Mia is your best friend in the whole wide world, and no matter where she lives, she always will be." Alex smiled at her daughter, who nodded slightly as if she remembered the conversation from that time.

"I miss Mia." Jamie sighed dramatically. 

"I know, baby," Maggie said, joining the conversation now. "But as long as you have Mia in here..." She pointed to Jamie's heart. "She will always be with you. No matter where you live, or where Mia lives. You will carry her with you forever. You two have a special bond, just like soulmates."

"Oh, a soulmate is a best friend?"

"It can be your best friend, yes. It's the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. Just like Mia knows all your little secrets and what you like and don't like," Maggie said, trying her best to help her daughter understand the concept of soulmates.

She never talked to Alex about how they would describe soulmates to Jamie. Sure, it would be easy to just say _Jamie, your mommies are soulmates, we love each other_. Yes, love was a big part of their concept of soulmates, but it was so much more than just love. 

"It's also someone that believes in you, just like Mia believed in you when you tried your best on the monkey bar." Maggie looked at Jamie who tried hard to remember all the memories.

Jamie nodded. "I was scared."

"Yes, you were, baby. But Mia was there for you and cheered you on so loudly when you climbed like a little pro." 

Jamie and Mia were best friends since the day Alex and Maggie moved into their new apartment outside the city. And even though both were just babies at the time, they quickly became inseparable. 

Alex and Maggie couldn't be happier that Jamie was lucky enough to grow up with another little girl. 

And these two were adorable together, always a sweet smile on their faces, never leaving each other's side. But they also stood up for each other, even though both were tiny. 

But when Mia's dad had to take another job in another state, it broke Jamie's little heart for the very first time and Alex and Maggie had a hard time comforting their little girl. 

"Wow, soulmates are awesome," Jamie said, her eyes shining bright, smiling at her parents. "Mama, is mommy your soulmate?" 

Maggie smiled slightly, looking at Jamie and then at Alex. "Yes, baby."

"Oh!" Jamie said, thinking about the conversation she had with her mommies realizing something. "Can mommy come back and live with us again?" 

Jamie smiled sweetly at them both, not knowing that she was using Maggie's words against her.

Maggie cleared her throat. "Okay, why don't we call Mia, huh? I'm sure she would love to see your cute little face!" Maggie knew how to distract her daughter and it worked every single time.

She would keep the answer to that question for a time when Jamie was old enough to hear. 

Or how would you tell your four-year-old that the person who promised to keep her save and protect her from the bad things in the world was also the same one who put her too many times in danger and it would be too risky to live together?! 

"Yes, I wanna talk to Mia!" 

_Flashback_

"Goodnight, baby. We love you," Maggie whispered, kissing her daughter's forehead softly, as her index fingers slowly traced the little scar above Jamie's eyebrow. "Your mommy and I will be right next door if you need us, okay?" 

If Maggie could, she would crawl under the blanket with Jamie, holding her tight and never let go of her little girl again. But a heavy conversation was on her mind and she finally needed to address everything that's been bothering her. 

Jamie grinned, and a cute yawn slipped over her lips, her tiny hands holding one of her countless cuddly toys. "Night mommies. Love you." 

Fortunately, Jamie was still too young to realize what had happened just a few days earlier. Yes, she was scared, when strangers dressed in black stormed into the apartment, barking loud comments. But Maggie was right there with her, keeping her safe from them. 

Quietly, she closed the door behind her, almost bumping into Alex, who stood behind her and raised her hands in defiance. "Sorry."

"Are you?" 

Alex groaned. "Maggie, I know I fucked up badly." She followed her wife into the bedroom, where she was already standing in front of the closet, looking for a bag that was big enough. "What are you doing? Maggie!" 

"Hush, be quiet, Alex. Jamie's asleep right next door," Maggie hissed angrily, taking one of the black bags, throwing it on the bed. "I can't do this anymore, Alex." 

Alex moved closer, pushing herself between Maggie and the closet. "What do you mean? What can't you do anymore?" Alex asked as she took her hands in hers. "You can talk to me, please talk to me, Maggie."

But Maggie wasn't falling for this. She was done pushing her feelings aside. "Do you just want me to talk or will you listen to me for once?" Maggie shook her head and freed herself from Alex's grip, starting to throw some clothes on the bed. 

She tried not to cry, ignoring the pain in her heart. Hoping tonight would not drastically change their life as a family. 

"Maggie, please, let's talk in peace before we both do something we regret," Alex pleaded, her voice filled with hurt and sadness. 

Maggie turned to Alex, an angry look on her face and hands on her hips. "Are you telling me you don't regret what happened the other day?" Maggie was so mad at her wife. How could Alex not see what the last few days had done to her?

"I never meant to put Jamie or you in danger, you know that." All she wanted was to protect her little family. But she lost sight of the fact that danger was everywhere and her carelessness was part of the problem. 

"I know, Alex. All you wanna do is protect us. But putting your daughter in danger is not the definition of protection her." Maggie sat down at the end of the bed. She was so tired of fighting, fighting against Alex's stubbornness. "You going to war against Cadmus put a target on our backs. Jamie makes you vulnerable and Cadmus knows that." 

Alex sat down next to Maggie, intertwining her hand with Maggie's. Seeing her so hurt made her heart ache. She never meant to put Maggie through so much pain. 

"So, please, for once, I'm begging you, Alex, stop. Stop this madness, the pain, the tears. Let Kara and J'onn take over. You have a little girl that needs you. I don't want her to wake up one day asking me why her mommy is not coming back. Don't make me do this." 

Silence. 

The pleading voice of Maggie ringed in her ears. But Alex didn't know what to say or how to reassure Maggie that everything will be okay in the end. She was blinded by revenge. It was personal. Cadmus killed her father, put her daughter and wife in danger. 

Cadmus was asking for war and Alex answered them. She wouldn't rest until Cadmus was destroyed once and for all. 

"Maggie, I know how hard it is…" 

"No, you know nothing Alex. You're asking the impossible from me. Remember when I said I don't wanna imagine my life without you in it? Now, I don't want Jamie to imagine her life without you in it." 

Maggie could no longer hold back the tears. Bitter tears ran down her cheeks and Maggie sobbed softly. Her world was crashing down, and there nothing she could do. 

"I can't."

"You can't?" 

"I can't Maggie. I'm so close to…" 

"The only thing you were close to was losing us, Alex. Wake the fuck up. Your daughter needs you. I need you. Fuck Cadmus, what we have is real. Let us focus on our future." Maggie pushed Alex away, hoping it would finally help her to realize that she was destroying everything. 

"How can we have a future when Cadmus is still in the picture threatening to destroy our dreams and future?" 

"Alex, you're the one destroying our dreams and future. Not Cadmus. Not Lillian Luthor. It's you. I know it's personal to you. But you can't act selfishly anymore. Jamie and her safety have to be on your mind 24/7. Not Cadmus." 

"One last chance, Maggie. I'll end it tonight, I promise you. I'll put an end to Cadmus." 

"I'm done giving you last chances, Alex. It makes me so angry and sad that it seems like I'm the only one thinking about our family."

Alex moved closer, cupping her face gently in her hands, brushing some tears from her cheeks. "I love you, and I love our little girl. Our family is the most important part of me. And I know we have a different understanding of keeping our family safe. But Maggie, all I need…" 

Maggie shook her head, not believing a word Alex was saying. "Guess you're finally right about one thing. I'll leave tomorrow morning with Jamie. Eliza offered us to stay with her for a while. You can decide what you want. Us or Cadmus, it's up to you Alex." 

Three days later, when Kara checked in with Maggie and Jamie, she finally found out what Alex's decision has been. 

And once again, Maggie didn't feel like she was enough…. 

_Flashback End_

"Maggie, I think we need to talk…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry? 
> 
> \----
> 
> "Jamie, I love you, and I'm so sorry for putting you through so much pain at such a young age! But I promise, everything's going to be okay."
> 
> \----  
> A/N:  
> ¹ Le Little Prince written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
> 
> The soulmate talk with Jamie was inspired by the soulmates quote from Dawsons Creek.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want us, Maggie. I want to be one with you again. Not being in your life is the hardest and worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life. I know the blame is all on me, but I can't go on like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update :(  
> Thanks to everyone for reading and leaving comments and kudos!  
> \-------  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

Loud, joyful children's laughter echoed through the living room, Jamie had the widest smile on her lips. She laughed and talked, telling Mia all about her adventures in kindergarten, and with her aunt Kara, which she had in the last weeks, or rather those she could remember.

And Mia looked at Jamie with big, curious eyes. Laughed whenever Jamie laughed as well, and every now and then a loud squeal escaped her. Maggie and Alex watched the two girls closely, and they too had a smile on their faces. Heartwarming was the sight of Jamie and Mia. 

"Cute, aren't they?" Maggie turned to Alex, who was sipping her glass of water and nodded slightly. "I'll never forget the day Mia moved to Central City. Jamie's crying haunted me for countless days and nights."

"Her first heartbreak," Alex sighed, and put her glass down again. "Look at her, how happy she is to be talking to Mia. It's like she never moved away. The two of them definitely have an invisible bond."

"Soulmates, indeed," Maggie laughed softly.

Maggie and Alex took turns with Jamie, and Mia's parents also appeared next to their daughter every now and then, keeping a low profile so as not to disturb them. When it was Alex's turn again, she sat down next to her daughter and kissed her dark hair, putting her palm on her forehead. 

Jamie was clearly feeling better and Alex breathed a sigh of relief. 

The youngest in the room was so deep into her conversation with Mia that she hadn't noticed at first that Alex suddenly sat next to her. But when she saw Mia waving shyly, she noticed the presence of her mom and turned to her with a big smile. "Mommy, can I visit Mia?"

"Hey, baby," Alex whispered, and then turned to Mia, who had rested her head on the palm of her hand, and looked at her with her little green eyes, curious about the answer. "Hi Mia, how are you?"

"Hello Jamie's mommy." Mia smiled slightly, slightly embarrassed, she was still having trouble remembering the names of Jamie's parents. But no one held it against her, and Alex and Maggie found it endearing. "Can Jamie come visit me? PRETTY PLEASE!"

Alex didn't even have the chance to think about it, because seconds later she heard the voice of her daughter next to her, begging her.

"PLEASE MOMMY!"

Jamie pouted, the mastered puppy-dog eyes making it hard for Alex to say no. "We should ask your Mama, Jamie." A few months ago she could have made the decision herself, but she didn't know what Maggie and Jamie's schedule would be over the next few weeks and months, and she didn't intend to bring chaos to it. 

"MAMA!!"

Alex was slightly startled when her daughter's voice rang in her ear. "Indoor voice, Jamie." Alex looked over her shoulder and saw Maggie rushing into the living room. 

"Everything okay here?" Worried, she looked from Alex to Jamie, and then back to Alex, who nodded slightly. And as soon as their eyes had met, she saw a giggling Mia who was no longer alone, because she too had called for her parents. 

"Emily, Matthew, hello. Nice to see you both on the screen. I couldn't ask yet, but how's life treating you in Central City?" Maggie sat down next to Jamie with one arm wrapped around her little body.

"Life*s good, thanks. We miss National CIty," Emily said with a smile, lifting her daughter on her lap so the little family could be on the screen. "Your FaceTime call was a welcome change. Mia missed Jamie."

Mia nodded wildly when she heard her name and Jamie's, and turned to her parents to ask them the same question. "Mommy, Daddy, can Jamie come visit me?... PLEASE!" Like any other four year old, Mia tried a puppy dog look, because she knew, just like Jamie, that it was hard to resist. 

"I don't know, we have to ask Maggie and Alex, honey."

The two girls became slightly impatient that they still hadn't gotten an answer from their parents. Jamie crossed her little arms in front of her body and then tried to give her mommies a scowling look, but the sight of Jamie's angry frown and her little wrinkled nose did exactly the opposite.

A light smile came over Maggie's lips, and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Actually, it wouldn't be a bad idea for her little family to get out of National City to use the days to get back together, and to get their minds clear after all these months. And it would definitely be a weekend of laughter and adventure for Jamie. 

"I'm sure we'll find a weekend to visit Mia, Jamie," Maggie let her daughter know, and as soon as she finished her sentence, cries of joy filled the living room. 

Jamie jumped up and it was Alex who had reacted quickly, making sure her daughter didn't fall off the couch unintentionally. "Careful, baby."

Jamie just nodded wildly, a broad smile on her lips as she fell into Maggie's arms and thanked her with a wet kiss on the cheek. "THANK YOU MAMA!"

"Of course, baby," Maggie laughed, wrapping her arms around Jamie, then moving closer to Alex, who still had her hand on Jamie's back. "I think a weekend in Central City will do us all good, don't you think, Alex?"

Alex looked at Maggie, and when she realise that she was welcome to come along, a big smile spread over her face.

She couldn't consider herself any happier. After all the disappointments, Maggie gave her another chance to make up for her mistakes and decisions of the past months, and Alex would do anything to regain her wife's trust.

But before she could even think about it, she had to talk to J'onn, and only then could she think about the rest of her life with Maggie and Jamie. 

"Thank you," Alex whispered, and Maggie couldn't help herself, squeezing Alex's hand which was still resting on Jamie's body.

Alex hadn't felt as relieved as she did at that moment for a long time, and this feeling that Maggie and her were on the same page again was one she had missed and never wanted to miss again.

Once again, she would not lose Jamie and Maggie.

***

Jamie spent quite some time with Mia now, and even if the little girls didn't have any real topics to talk about, neither of them could stop talking and laughing.

"Sweetheart, a few more minutes," Magge let her daughter know, who sat her down on the couch and handed her the tablet again to say goodbye to Mia. 

"Okay, Mama," Jamie said, a yawn slipped over her lips and Maggie could see in the corner of her eye that Mia was also affected by Jamie's tiredness. 

It wasn't late, but today was exciting enough for both girls, and Maggie was really surprised that Jamie hadn't fallen asleep from exhaustion. 

With a smile on her lips, Maggie joined Alex in the kitchen leaning against the kitchen island, watching her daughter. "I haven't seen Jamie this happy in a long time. At least not since the day I..."

"Hey," Maggie gently interrupted Alex, putting her hand on her arm. "We're working on it, okay? Not just for us, but for Jamie, too. And even if it's not..."

Alex shook her head, a few red strands of hair in her face. "I want us, Maggie. I want to be one with you again. Not being in your life is the hardest and worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life. I know the blame is all on me, but I can't go on like this."

Maggie nodded slightly, her feelings in tumult, and her thoughts in a wild chaos. The last hours reminded her what a wonderful time they had spent as a family and she too longed to have Alex back in her life. "Maybe we can talk when Jamie's in bed?"

"No... I mean, yes, I wanna talk," Alex said quickly to make sure Maggie didn't feel that she wasn't serious about it. "I just want to talk to J'onn first. I'll hand over my files and notes about Cadmus so he can take me off the case. I just want to focus on the important things in my life and pay full attention to our conversation without having Cadmus in mind."

Maggie closed her eyes, memories of the past came up. Memories and feelings of that night when Alex promised her to talk to J'onn, promised her that after this conversation a new life would begin.But then the exact opposite happened, and Alex couldn't tear herself away.But then the exact opposite happened, and Alex couldn't tear himself away from work. She spent every spare minute at the DEO, throwing herself into work, driven by revenge and anger, without thinking about her family, which she had not lost yet. 

And because of this Maggie hesitated with her answer, which of course didn't go unnoticed by Alex, and she could understand her completely. Maggie was afraid that it was just another one of many promises of Alex that she would break. 

Carefully, she slid closer until her shoulders touched, and tentatively, Alex wrapped her hand around Maggie's. "I know you have no reason to believe me, and I would not be offended if you can no longer trust me. But the harsh reality of my new normal made me realize what a stupid decision I have made. I want my, no, our life back. I want to be the woman you deserve to have in your life and the mother Jamie deserves." 

As her name came up, the little girl turned, a smile on her lips, and Maggie and Alex smiled at her. And then they heard Mia, whispering a soft Jamie,to get her best friends attention back.

Of course, both didn't miss the moment and Alex smiled slightly, it reminded her so much of herself whenever Maggie had said her name to get her attention again. "Look at our daughter," Alex said, who couldn't take her eyes off Jamie. "Do you think...?"

"A crush? Oh, she definitely has a crush on Mia. Her eyes are dreamy, she gets that from you, Alex."

Alex blushed slightly and she slapped Maggie's shoulder lightly. "Come on, I don't have dreamy eyes." But her eyes didn't lie, because she couldn't take her eyes off Maggie. 

"Like mother, like daughter," Maggie laughed heartily, and then she turned from Alex to Jamie, who was giggling loudly just as Mia blew her a goodbye kiss. "Yeah, she definitely has a crush."

***

Goodbyes have never been among the moments in her life that were easy for her. Especially when she had to say goodbye to her daughter. Not even if it was just for a few days, until she had worked things out with J'onn. Because this day with Jamie and Maggie made Alex forget for a few hours the lonely and empty moments of the past months.

She couldn't go on like that.

And Jamie was still young, and Alex wanted to be part of her life again. Not for a single second did she want to miss a minute in Jamie's life, and finally stop regretting that she had almost thrown away her life with Maggie and Jamie without even thinking about it.

She wanted to stand by her words and become the best version of herself. To be the wife and mother that Maggie and Jamie deserved. And tomorrow morning, when she entered the DEO, she would take the first step in the right direction.

Alex stood in the doorway, Jamie on her hip, snuggled up against her torso, hands around her neck, eyes closed. "I've missed that feeling," Alex said softly, following Maggie in the direction of Jamie's nursery. "I just..."

But Maggie interrupted her wife, a knowing smile on her lips. "Alex, let's stop thinking about the past. We've already lost and wasted too much time. From now on, let's just focus on the present and the future and get Jamie into bed." Laughing, Maggie opened the door, turned on the light and let Alex enter the room with Jamie on her arm.

Alex looked around for a few minutes. Nothing much had changed. The ceiling was still decorated with stars, the walls were still painted in a bright blue, clouds, forests and oceans stretched across the walls. A wide window front bathed the room in warm sunlight in the morning, but at that moment the high moon illuminated the children's room. 

Jamie moved around uncomfortably in Alex's arms, and a small yawn came over her lips, warm breath brushing against Alex's throat. "Okay, baby, off to bed you go," Alex whispered softly, and stepped closer to the bed, and at the sight of the bedding she could not help but laugh; a Supergirl bedsheet. 

Needless to say, Maggie couldn't help smiling, and she mumbled softly. "Not a word, Danvers." She crossed her arms across her chest. 

Alex laughed. "I didn't say anything, Sawyer."

Oh, how she missed the banter between them. 

Carefully, not to wake Jamie, she laid her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her little body, and a few seconds later, Jamie snuggled into them, and with her eyes closed, she searched for one of her cuddly toys. 

"Here, she's looking for it."Maggie handed Alex one of the countless stuffed animals, a little grey elephant. "She can't go to sleep without it."

Once again, Alex would be part of the good-night ritual, sitting by her bed again, reading her favorite books, or just quietly watching her daughter slowly fall asleep. 

Alex thanked her silently, and then sat down at the edge of the bed, one hand stroking a few strands from Jamie's face, while the little girl reached for the stuffed animal and squeezed it tightly. "Good night, Jamie. Have sweet dreams." Gently, she bent over to her daughter and kissed her forehead softly. "I'll see you soon, I promise."

Usually, neither Alex nor Maggie were very fond of promises that were unclear whether or not they could keep. But both had enough faith in themselves and each other that sooner or later, that promise would become a reality.

Jamie, eyes still closed, yawned slightly and even Maggie, who stood behind Alex and watched the moment between mother and daughter in peace, had to yawn. The day was exhausting, not only physically but especially emotionally, and she was exhausted. She needed a few hours of sleep to process the last hours. 

She came closer to Jamie's bed and also bent down to her daughter to breathe a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Good night, baby. Sleep tight." Before she got up, she felt Jamie's forehead again and with a satisfied smile on her lips, she realized that this morning's fever had already gone down again. 

Nevertheless, she would watch her condition over the night, hoping that her condition would improve and not worsen.

"I think your presence today has worked wonders," Maggie told Alex as they both left the nursery and Maggie quietly closed the door behind her. 

"Huh?"

"Jamie, she's feeling better than this morning when I couldn't leave her alone for a moment," Maggie explained, seeing a slight smile on Alex's lips. "Are you sure you don't want to talk now?"

Maggie did not want to push Alex, in no way. But she was also afraid that once Alex left the apartment, her priorities would change again. Maggie wanted to take the opportunity at that moment to make sure her future with Alex would be going in the right direction. 

Alex shook her head. "I can see how exhausting today was for you," Alex said, who put on her leather jacket. "Your eyes aren't sparkling anymore, you're tired, and I saw you yawning in the corner of my eye. You deserve a good night's rest without our conversation in your mind."

Maggie just nodded. She believed Alex and her words, and for the first time in months she was sure she would sleep well every night. 

"Good night, Maggie."

"Good night, Alex."

***

Alex sat across from J'onn, the files and notes on Cadmus were on the heavy desk, and from the look on J'onn's face, Alex could tell he was more than happy about Alex's decision. 

"It was about time, Alex. We've tried so many times to make you realize that you needed to put your priorities straight. And I'm glad you finally came to the right decision." J'onn was happy, relieved. He knew how hard it was not being able to see your kid growing up, or not being there to share an important milestone.

Alex remembered every single conversation she had with J’onn, who kept reminding her that she had to get back on the right path or she would lose herself, driven by revenge. And then there were the conversations with Kara and the jealousy that crept up inside her when her sister told her about Jamie's adventures.

She should have been the one to be by Jamie's side. 

“I'd like to cut back. I wanna put all my focus on Maggie and Jamie, and the life we will build together,” Alex let J’onn know. She ran her fingers through her hair, a soft groan escaped her lips. “Jamie is still so young, and I’ve already missed so much in her life. I don't want to end up like my dad, regretting that work always came first. Maggie was right, Jamie is my new job and her happiness my mission.”

“I’m so proud of you, Alex. It took you some time, but you came to the realization that you need to change something in your life." He's wanted to pull her off the case for a very long time. But he knew Alex and knew how stubborn she could be. Just because he would not allow her to work on the case did not mean she would follow his orders. If she wanted to chase after Cadmus, no one could stop her. She had to make that decision on her own. 

"Thank you." Alex leaned back, palms resting on her thighs. She felt good, relieved. The conversation freed her from a heavy burden and she couldn't wait to call Maggie later to finally plan a future together. 

"What are you gonna do now?" 

She hadn't really thought about what she would do after the conversation with Maggie. Would she move back in or would they take things slowly so that Jamie could get used to the fact that Alex was back in her life? "I hadn't given much thought to what would happen after I had the conversation with Maggie. It's going to be an unfamiliar situation for us, and neither of us will know how to deal with it for a while."

J'onn nodded. "I'm sure that Maggie and you will find out together how you want to build your future. And Alex, you can take all the time you need. Your family comes first now. From now on, your only job is to be a mother and a wife."

Her smile grew wider and wider and she couldn't wait to leave her past behind to take the first step into her new future. 

"I'm excited to find out how I'm going to do in my new roles," Alex confessed. "It will definitely be a challenge for me to get up every morning and just be a mother and wife. But that's the version of myself that Maggie and Jamie deserve." 

J'onn gave her an encouraging smile. Of course, it was scary to take on not one but two new roles in her life, but J'onn had known Alex for a while now, and he had no doubt that she would do her best. "You have us, Alex. A family that will stand by your side at all times. One phone call, one message and we're there for Maggie, Jamie, and you. Never forget that." 

Alex nodded. Words of gratitude were stuck in her throat. She wanted to say so much but she knew J'onn understood her without words. She reached over the table and squeezed J'onn's hand, a little  _ thank you _ on her lips.

"You're welcome. Now get the hell out of my office." J'onn stood up from his desk chair and embraced Alex as she let herself fall into his arms. "I'm proud of you, Alex. I'm happy for you that you're starting a new chapter in your life. You made the right decision, trust me."

"Thank you." 

She was ready to leave her old life behind to finally live the life she had so long desired. Just a few more moments would separate her from hugging Maggie and Jamie, starting their new life.

The hand on the doorknob as Alex turned back to J'onn. She would miss him and the DEO, and with a smile, she left his office.

On her way out of the DEO, she passed a few of her colleagues whom she simply thanked in brief words for the past years. J'onn would inform them already that a new position would be available soon.

Too wrapped up in her daydreams, Alex didn't even notice the dark shadow that had followed her as she left the DEO's.

***

Moonlight lit up the bathroom, cold water was running down the heated, aching body, and a faint moan came over the lips of the person, hands resting on the wand.

Everything had happened so quickly. One minute she had a smile on her lips and a woman and child in her thoughts, and the next minute she felt the heavy metal of her motorcycle suffocating her. 

A crushing feeling had made it almost impossible for her to take a breath, and there was blood running down her brow. Blinded by the street light she had found it difficult to see the person standing above her.

But the black-dressed person didn't need to say a word to let Alex know who was causing the headaches, broken ribs, and bruises.

Only because Alex was done with Cadmus did not mean that Cadmus was done with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Mama?"
> 
> "Yeah, baby?"
> 
> "Where is Mommy? I miss her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading and leaving comments and kudos!  
> \-----------  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.

"Mama?"

"Yeah, baby?"

With a gentle smile on her lips, Maggie folded the morning paper again and placed it next to her steaming coffee to give her daughter her attention.

The little girl shuffled sleepily closer, sleep was still visible in her little eyes. "Where is Mommy?" Jamie looked at her with tired eyes as she put her hands up in the air, her pajama top slipping over her arms, so Maggie could lift her up. "I miss her."

"Aww, I know, baby." Maggie shoved newspaper and coffee to one side before picking up Jamie and seating her on the edge of the breakfast table. "Your mommy's very busy, you know? Aunt Kara and she make sure the city is safe. But there is not a second when she doesn't think about you, Jamie."

Jamie nodded slightly, her lower lip pushed forward slightly, and with her little fingers, she played with Maggie's hair. "Can we go see Mommy?"

A few months ago, when her little world was still perfect, she used to visit her mommy a lot at work, and she was so fascinated by all the microscopes and the samples she and Alex had analyzed together. One day Alex surprised her with a small lab coat and Jamie hadn't taken it off for days. Maggie and Alex had a hard time dressing their daughter in something different.

But these times were long gone, and for Jamie there had been no opportunity to put on her lab coat for a long time. Maggie hoped that one day Jamie would be able to put on her little lab coat again.

"You know what? While I call your mommy, you can get dressed for Aunt Kara. She should be coming over soon."

Hearing her aunt's name, Jamie's face brightened and the little girl clapped her hands, thrilled that Kara would spend time with her. 

Several days had passed since Alex had promised her to have the long desired conversation with her. But there was no call, no message. Alex hadn't reached out to her and that worried Maggie a lot. 

It was worrying not to know what had happened and why Alex had not kept her promise.

Maggie stayed awake almost every night, the last conversation, the faith that everything would finally be okay again, and unfortunately also the countless messages that remained unanswered and unread by Alex, never left her mind.

Even J'onn couldn't help her, he hadn't seen or heard from her since the talk at the DEO, and neither could Kara, who spent her nights flying over National City to find her sister's whereabouts.

And even though Maggie didn't want to think about it, simply because of Jamie, she called in favors from former colleagues who had checked to see if a woman had been admitted to the city's hospitals in the last few days who had not yet been identified. 

Of course, Jamie had asked questions, she was Alex's daughter after all, and honestly, Maggie was running out of excuses and she was no longer able or willing to lie to her daughter. 

And because of that, she was going to ask Kara to watch Jamie tonight and to finally head to Alex's apartment; why she hadn't done this earlier was beyond her comprehension. Maybe she was just afraid of what she would find. 

She was certain that there was a reason why Alex was ignoring any attempt by Maggie to get in touch with her. However, Maggie was unsure if she was prepared to find out why.

***

Maggie's gaze was focused on the black apartment complex, her hands on the steering wheel. She had been sitting in the black SUV for several minutes without any movement, only her eyes moving across the complex, hoping the lights in Alex's apartment would come on.

She was grateful to Kara for watching Jamie tonight, not knowing how long she would spend her time waiting for Alex tonight. She would not be coming home until she had seen Alex.

The apartment complex was bathed in a bright sea of lights as more lights were turned on and Maggie was sure that Alex's apartment was one of them. She took another deep breath and then let the engine of her car die before she got out and approached the front door.

(She tried to ignore this uncomfortable feeling that had been creeping in from the moment she steered her car into the parking lot. She was already worried enough about what was going to happen or not). 

But the closer she got to the elevator, and then to the apartment door, the more it spread through her body, and for the first time tonight, fear crept up her back. 

For the first time, she was scared to face Alex and find out what was stopping her from rewriting her future with Alex and Jamie. For a moment she even regretted coming here. After all, it was Alex who had promised her to seek the conversation, not the other way around. 

Arriving at the door, Maggie hesitated. The next few seconds would be vital, and as she raised her fist she took a deep breath, and as soon as her breath left her body, she knocked on the door. Once, twice, and then for the third time, the knocking echoed across the hallway. 

"Alex?"

Maybe her wife was in the bathroom, taking a shower, and therefore didn't notice that someone was at her door. And Maggie regretted that she had ever given Alex back her apartment key. At that moment she could more than use it. 

"Alex, it's Maggie."

A second went by.

And then five more seconds passed. 

There was silence, no familiar voice was heard from the apartment, letting her know that she would be at the door in a moment. Not even footsteps could be heard hurrying to open the door. Maggie knocked again, followed by a second knock. 

The knocking became louder and louder and impatient, causing some of the neighbors to stick their heads through the door, looking at Maggie with a disapproving look. 

Murmuring, she apologized and the next time she knocked, it was quieter again.

This feeling, this frightening feeling, spread through Maggie the longer she didn't hear a movement, not a word from the other side of the door, and made her go through the worst possible scenarios. 

_ Alex, who had trouble breathing.  _

_ Injured, seriously injured. _

_ Covered in blood, in so much blood. _

_ A lifeless Alex. _

Maggie shuddered and tried to shake off the visuals. But not hearing from Alex made everything much harder for her.

"Alex, please," Maggie pleaded, desperation in her voice. She didn't want to argue with her wife. She just wanted to know if Alex was doing well. Anger and disappointment that Alex had broken yet another promise was long forgotten. 

"I'm not angry, I promise," Maggie assured her, leaning against the door. "I just want... Are you okay? You haven't answered any of my calls or messages, and I'm worried... Jamie is asking about you, and I don't know how much longer I can keep lying to our daughter. She doesn't deserve this."

She hoped that mentioning her daughter would finally get Alex to open the door, but the door remained closed. All she wanted was the certainty of whether her daughter still had a mommy or not. 

Maggie stayed for a few more minutes, thinking about Alex and wondering if she was okay, so she didn't notice someone moaning weakly behind the door.

"You have to let her in, Danvers."

Stubbornly, Alex shook her head and clenched her teeth as the young woman bent over her patched up the freshly torn wound. "I don't want Maggie to see me like this. I cannot cause her any more pain and suffering. I shall no longer be the cause of her suffering. If she sees me like this, she would jump to the wrong conclusions, and then there would no longer be a chance for me to fix this."

A sarcastic laugh came over the lips of the woman. "And instead you chose to ignore her for days? You do realize that's not the right thing to do?" Annoyed by Alex's behavior, she pressed another sterile compress against the wound to stop the bleeding. 

Alex growled slightly, the pressure on her stomach was painful. "Just make sure that the wound doesn't reopen, understood?" Her eyes moved down and she saw two skilled hands wrapping a fresh bandage around her abdomen.

"A simple 'thank you' would have been appreciated, Danvers." She shook her head, secured the bandage, and then rose from the floor, stretching and felt her back crack. 

"Even if you are not at all interested in my opinion, Maggie and Jamie do not deserve this. And I will certainly no longer lie to my best friend just because for some reason you don't have enough trust in Maggie that she would listen to you before she made her own opinion." She packed her bag again, leaving some pain pills on the table. "You are not responsible for the accident, Alex. Cadmus is behind it, you're not to blame. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better for you and your family."

Alex leaned against the couch, eyes closed, breathing shallow, and one hand rested on the bandage. She hardly took in her surroundings, only Maggie's best friend, who closed her bag and left the apartment without saying another word. 

For a brief moment, Alex hoped that Maggie was still standing at the door, waiting for Alex to let her in. But the seconds passed, and Alex was sure that Maggie was gone, too. 

Perhaps it was for the best. There was no excuse for why Alex had been ignoring the calls and messages. Once again, she had been selfish, even though she was well aware that Maggie would listen to her. 

Maggie was again sitting in the passenger seat, the key only needed to be turned, and she would be on her way home. But for some unknown reason, she was still parked in the parking lot. It was as if an invisible band was keeping her from driving away. Like it was someone trying to make Maggie go back to the apartment.

_ Alex. _

She took a deep breath. Memories of the conversation with Jamie and her question rushed into her mind.

_ Mama, is mommy your soulmate? _

_ Yes, baby. _

She was certain that Alex was inside the apartment and for some reason, she could not or did not want to open the door. But this time she was going to be more demanding so that her wife would open the door for her. 

Maggie took the key out of the ignition, and when she got out of the car, she locked it with a single click and made her way back to the apartment complex.

Quickly she opened the door and almost collided with a woman who had just gotten out of the elevator and was heading for the exit.

"Robyn?"

"Maggie."

"What are you doing here?" Maggie let the door behind her fall into the lock and looked at her best friend, her eyes falling on the bag in her hand. "Don't tell me..."

"I tried talking to her, but she is stubborn and has refused to let you in. I'm so sorry, Maggie." Robyn looked at her sympathetically, and Maggie just nodded silently. "She won't come to her senses on her own. I left the door open a little bit. I knew you wouldn't leave."

"Is she... is she badly hurt?"

Robyn shook her head. "She has some pain in her hip, and a few scrapes and cuts all over her abdomen. She will recover in a few days."

Maggie breathed a sigh of relief. That was good news. Alex was fine, she was still alive. "Thank you, even though I'm angry that as my best friend you didn't tell me," Maggie let Robyn know. 

"Your wife is scary. She threatened me with her index finger."

Maggie chuckled lightly. Classic Alex. "Thank you, Robyn. I'm glad someone was there for her at least. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to talk some sense into my wife."

She said goodbye to her best friend and then headed back to Alex's apartment. She was going to find out tonight why Alex had broken her promise. Regardless if Alex wanted to or not. 

With fast steps she came closer and closer to the apartment and Robyn was not lying; the door was still open. Carefully Maggie approached and slowly opened the door to avoid scaring Alex. 

"Alex? It's me, Maggie." She looked around the living room and it seemed that Alex was in the bathroom where a bright beam of light could be seen. Carefully she moved towards the bathroom and knocked softly. 

"Robyn, I can take care of..." And then Alex turned around and looked into the worried eyes of her wife. "Maggie? What are you doing here?"

Maggie pushed the door open and sighed slightly when she saw Alex. "Oh, Alex, why didn't you get in touch with me?" She got closer, tentatively embraced Alex's face, and stroked gently over the split lower lip.

Alex closed her eyes and let herself fall into Maggie's touch. All worries had been in vain; all Maggie wanted to know was if she was all right. "I'm... I'm sorry, Maggie. I'm really sorry. There's no apology in the world..."

"Shhh... It's okay, come with me." Maggie intertwined Alex's hand with hers and led her to the couch in the living room. "There's nothing we can't talk about, Alex. I just wish you'd come to me immediately." She sat down with Alex, holding her hand. Caressing the back of her hand gently, she looked at Alex, who was biting her lower lip. An old habit of Alex when she felt she had been caught. 

"Everything was going so well between us. We wanted to talk, about us, about our future and I promised to talk to J'onn. And I did, and I was so relieved that he understood me and took over the case. And when I was on my way to you, to Jamie, everything happened so fast." Alex sighed. Robyn was the only one she had told about what had happened. "I didn't see the car coming, and all I can remember is the heavy metal of my bike on my body and how hard it was to breathe."

Maggie noticed how hard it was for Alex to breathe, and how the pain spread across her face every time she took a deep breath. "Hey, Alex, look at me."

As Alex looked at Maggie, she did some breathing exercises with her to ease the pain. "Inhale and exhale... And inhale and exhale and exhale again... Very good," said Maggie and inhaled again and then exhaled. 

And Alex also began with the breathing exercises, in and out, in and out. And she could feel the pain slowly draining from her body. These weren't the first painful injuries anyone had inflicted on her, but still, this time she found it difficult to breathe... "Thanks, Maggie."

Maggie simply nodded silently. She would always be there for Alex, no matter what the state of her marriage was. Her feelings for Alex would never fade. "Kara is watching Jamie tonight. So I've got all night if you want to talk."

This time it was Alex who nodded silently.

Before the car accident, she knew exactly what she wanted to say to Maggie, but now her head was empty and she was unable to think clearly. "I want... I want us to go back to the way we were, Maggie. I knew exactly what I wanted to say to you, but I haven't been able to keep my thoughts focused for days. It's like everything is blurry in front of my eyes and I'm having trouble sorting everything out."

It was obvious looking at Alex how much she wanted this conversation, but it was also obvious that she couldn't find the right words easily.

And Maggie could forget and forgive everything. But this talk was important and necessary. They had to talk about it. "If you want, I can start?!"

Alex shook her head. She had almost ruined her marriage, her family. It was her responsibility to take the first step to save her future. She closed her eyes, her breathing calmed down, the anxiety that the next few minutes would be crucial vanished. She gave herself another chance.

And Maggie looked at her. She saw that Alex became more relaxed, that she wasn't struggling to breathe anymore. Gently, she wrapped her hand around Alex's hand, stroking the back of her hand softly, and made her feel that Alex could take all the time in the world. 

A few seconds of silence passed before Alex opened her eyes again and looked at Maggie with a slight smile. "I know how hurt and disappointed you are, Maggie. The last few months have certainly not been easy for you and Jamie. And I'm sorry it took me so long to come to my senses. You said that we both have different views on what it means to protect Jamie. I really thought that I would be able to protect Jamie better with Cadmus gone. But I was wrong, and I was this close to not being able to protect her anymore."

Maggie nodded and listened. She took in the words, and how sincere Alex sounded, and how her heart was set on fixing the wrong decisions she had made. And Maggie was glad to hear those words, that apology. She wanted nothing more than this. All she wanted was that Alex finally understood that if she continued like this, she would lose her family. 

"In my conversation with J'onn, I asked to cut back. I just want to be focused on Jamie and you. Show you that I'm serious about saving our family," Alex let Maggie know, gaining more and more confidence with every word. "But I don't want to push you. You decide..."

Alex was interrupted, the words got stuck in her throat. But Alex didn't care about that because she felt Maggie's soft hands on her face, thumbs caressing her cheeks gently. "Come home," Maggie whispered in a low voice, and then she kissed her wife softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end, one or two chapters left!
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My mom always said the universe fights for two souls to be together. Soulmates will always find their way back to each other. No matter how much love was lost, how much distance there was. You lose each other to find each other again. That's what it's like when someone is meant for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I was too busy with creating some art for Sanvers Big Bang.  
> But I finally got a new chapter, but it's also the last one :(  
> \-------  
> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine

_Come home._

Hearing those words sounded so good, and Alex had longed so much to hear them coming from Maggie. 

_Come home._

That was where she belonged, with her family, with Maggie and Jamie. And not in a lonely apartment outside of National City, away from her family and the problems she had been running away from for months. 

It had been easy not to face her challenges, to delve into her work, to chase after Cadmus, to take revenge for her past. She had barely thought about her family and marriage, and the consequences and repercussions that followed. All she had in sight was Cadmus and driven by revenge and anger, she chased the organization for weeks and months, but with no solid leads. 

And then she received a wake-up call, a painful wake-up call. She was shown that her blind hunt for Cadmus would only lead to more pain, sorrow and sadness. 

It was finally time to come home.

It was late, long after midnight, when Maggie pulled her car into the driveway of the apartment complex and turned off the engine as soon as she brought the car to a stop. 

She looked over to Alex, who sat beside her in silence, her eyes fixed on the night and her fingers intertwined.

"Hey," Maggie whispered softly, and put her hand on Alex's cheek. "We are home." 

Alex closed her eyes, the feeling of Maggie's hand on her skin felt right. She nodded gently, a little smile on her lips. "Home," Alex repeated carefully. It felt a bit strange to hear those words, let alone to say them. And yet this was where she wanted to be; home.

Maggie gently stroked Alex's cheek, offering her an encouraging smile. "You belong to your family, Alex and your family belongs to you." Maggie gave Alex a moment to pull herself together before she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. 

Alex took another deep breath in and out and also opened her seat belt and quietly pushed the door behind her into the lock. 

Maggie locked the car with her key and then held out her hand to Alex, who came around the car, intertwining her fingers with Maggie's. "It's late, but I imagine Jamie can't wait to see you."

Together, side by side, they walked up the driveway, and while Maggie was looking for her key to unlock the front door, Alex couldn't wait to see her daughter and hold her in her arms again. To let her know that she would spend tomorrow, the day after tomorrow and every morning with her. 

Maggie held the door open and Alex entered the building with a smile on her face. Only a few floors separated her from her daughter. She waited for Maggie, and together they headed for the elevators, which came to the first floor a little later and brought them both safely up to the seventh floor.

Alex let Maggie go first and after her wife got out of the elevator, she followed her to the apartment at the end of the corridor. But as they got closer, Alex became more excited and nervous. "Maggie, wait a minute."

She stopped, pulling slightly on Maggie's arm to make her stop as well. And when she stopped, she turned to Alex, who looked at her with an uncertain look. 

"Hey, you okay?"

Maggie took both of Alex's hands and gently stroked the back of her hands with her thumbs. 

"Are we sure this is the right decision?" Alex wanted to go home and she wanted nothing more, but did she deserve it? 

"If you are worried about how Jamie will react when she sees you, you should know that she will be very, very happy. You really don't need to worry about that," Maggie assured her, but she knew her wife and that the guilt was gnawing at her and that it would take her a long time to allow herself to be happy. 

Maggie carefully leaned over to Alex, her hands still in hers, and she leaned her forehead against Alex's. "Come home, Alex," Maggie repeated again. 

"Are you sure?"

The question was soft, uncertain, Alex was too scared that she would wake up tomorrow and realize that she was trapped in her past and had lost her family forever. 

"You belong to your family, Alex," Maggie whispered, her forehead still resting against Alex's, and she felt Alex's shaky breath on her cheek. "Let us work together, in our own four walls, to become a family again. I miss waking up next to you in the morning, in your arms. I miss you making Jamie laugh in the morning and making breakfast for us. I miss you coming home from work tired and exhausted, but when you see Jamie, your eyes start to shine and you have forgotten everything that causes you sadness. I miss being a family with you."

Alex gulped. 

It felt good to hear those words, but she still felt that she didn't deserve that Maggie just forgave her and let her back into her life. She couldn't change the last months, but what she could do was to earn the trust of Maggie again. "I promise you that I will do everything I can to help you trust me again."

***

"Look at her, sleeping so peacefully."

Alex leaned against the door frame, her eyes focused on her daughter. She had missed Jamie, the sight of her cuddled up in her blanket, surrounded by her countless stuffed animals. 

Maggie, standing next to Alex, took Alex's hand in hers and squeezed it lightly. "I think she knows that tomorrow morning everything will change for her," Maggie whispered softly, and then pulled Alex away from Jamie's bedroom to prevent her from waking up. "Come on, we should get to bed. It's late, and when Jamie wakes up in a few hours, you'll be glad you got a few hours of sleep."

Alex could stand in the bedroom door for hours, watching her daughter sleep, and for a moment she thought about sitting in the rocking chair to make sure she wouldn't wake up from a bad dream. But Maggie was right. Her little bundle of energy would demand absolutely everything from her in the next few days, once she realized that her mommy would not leave her again. 

"It all seems so surreal, Maggie," Alex said, following Maggie into the living room and leaned against the couch. Her eyes fell on Maggie, who was standing in front of the refrigerator, taking two bottles of water from the fridge. "I have dreamed about this for so long, and now finally.... Thank you," Alex interrupted herself as Maggie held the water out to her and pointed out that she should follow her. "I know I'm repeating myself, but is it really the right step to let me back into your lives? What if we're rushing things and need more time?"

Maggie shook her head. Yes, she understood Alex and her doubts, and yes, maybe it all went too fast. But they had also wasted the last few months, and Maggie no longer wanted to chase after her future when it was within reach. And to show Alex that this was exactly what she wanted, she locked her fingers with Alex's and slowly pulled her towards the bedroom. 

***

Alex was happy.

A smile on her lips, Maggie in her arms. 

She couldn't remember the last time she woke up happy, or even remember the last time she had a peaceful sleep. The only thing she could remember were the nights when she was alone on the shabby mattress, longing to have Maggie in her arms. 

Alex could feel Maggie moving in her arms, and she couldn't help but kiss her hair gently. These were the moments she never wanted to miss again. 

"Morning," Maggie murmured sleepily as she opened her eyes and looked at Alex. "How long have you been up?"

Alex shrugged. "Not that long at all," she replied, leaning down to kiss her gently good morning. "Morning."

"Good morning," Maggie replied, smiling. "You look really well-rested, I assume you had a good sleep?"

"The best," Alex chuckled softly, her fingers stroking over Maggie's bare shoulders. "I haven't slept so well in a very long time."

"We better get up, Jamie could wake up any minute, and this...." Maggie pointed to Alex's and her naked body. "Shouldn't be the first thing she sees. Though I'd love to repeat tonight."

Alex smiled. She too had these thoughts in her mind.

Feeling Maggie underneath her again, her soft skin nestling against hers, the soft, hushed moans, was once again reality. And if Alex could, she would not leave the bedroom for the next few days. But the little whirlwind, also better known as Jamie, would put a stop to her plans. 

"Maybe...maybe Kara can watch Jamie tonight?," Alex said, watching Maggie as she sat on the edge of the bed, looking for her underwear. "We could have a nice dinner, and talk?" Alex slid across the bed closer to Maggie and hugged her from behind, her arms wrapped around her chest, and a soft sigh escaped Maggie as she felt Alex's hand on her breast.

Maggie leaned back and closed her eyes as she felt Alex's lips on her neck, tenderly kissing her. An evening just for the two of them sounded wonderful, because Alex not only had a lot to catch up on in Jamie's life, but also in her marriage with Maggie. She opened her mouth to let Alex know that she liked the idea, but instead of words, there was only a slight moan that came out as soon as Alex's hand moved between her breasts, across her belly and between her thighs. She felt Alex's naked body against her, her breasts pressed against her back, and Alex's breath brushing along her neck. 

"Just the two of us," Alex breathed softly, her fingers dancing overheated skin. 

Maggie took a deep breath in and out, and then she nodded. It was too tempting to spend time alone with Alex. "O...Okay. Kara can...." Maggie closed her eyes as Alex's finger slipped into her, keeping the other arm around Maggie so she would not slip off the bed. "Oh, fuck, Alex."

"Good?"

"Good.” Maggie clutched the edge of the bed as Alex's increased the rhythm, the movements became rougher and harder. "Alex..."

She just smirked, and kissed Maggie's neck gently. She tried to let loose, she wanted to be embraced by Maggie, to live in her own world for a few minutes, but she also stayed alert. Attentive to the sound of tiny feet that could burst into the bedroom at any time. 

For a moment Alex moved away from Maggie, who, with a slight groan, expressed her displeasure. But Alex had something else in mind, and kissed Maggie gently on the lips while her hands gently pressed her back into the pillows. "Have I told you how much I missed feeling you under me? To see your body tremble when you come? How much I have missed seeing you surrender and giving up control of yourself and your body?

Maggie moaned.

Not only Alex missed it, but Maggie also missed the comfort she shared with Alex late at night when Jamie was already in bed or when Kara took her for a weekend to give them a few nights off. 

She had yearned for Alex, and the touches that explored her body again and again, as if it were her first time. Alex took her time, enough time to relax her body and mind. Time to take Maggie to another world where it was just the two of them, no obligations, no problems. Just Maggie and Alex, and the desire and longing to feel each other, to seduce each other, to get the other's bodies burning, the moaning and panting that filled the room. 

"Beautiful," Alex muttered, bent over Maggie, the short hair falling into her face, and it was Maggie who brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek with her hand. 

And just as Maggie was about to give herself to Alex, Alex and her gentle touches, tender kisses, it was tiny feet running across the hallway that made both of them sigh, but still put a smile on their lips.

And then it was Jamie who let a deafening squeak come over her lips as soon as Alex opened the door and picked up her daughter with a broad grin and one or two tears in her arms.

She was finally home. 

***

_15 years later_

"Look at our baby," Alex whispered softly, her arm wrapped around Maggie, as neither could take her eyes off her daughter, who lifted her suitcase out of the car and dropped it in front of her with a slight groan. "Where did the time go when she still needed our help? I was just teaching her how to ride her bike a few days ago."

Maggie just nodded and snuggled into Alex's side, couldn't take her eyes off Jamie, who now threw her backpack over her shoulder and slammed the trunk door behind her. "It seems like yesterday she lost her first tooth," Maggie murmured softly, wiping a tear from her eyes. "And now, look at her, she has grown up and is on her own to begin her new phase of life."

"We can be proud of our daughter," Alex said, who now had a slight smile on her lips. "She will make her own way and explore the world for herself." Alex leaned down to Maggie and kissed her on the lips. "And you know what the best part about it is that Jamie is going to college?"

Maggie shook her head.

"We have the house to ourselves again."

Maggie laughed and slapped Alex lightly on the shoulder. 

"Ugh, gross!" Jamie stopped in front of her parents, slightly out of breath as she put the heavy suitcase on the floor in front of her feet. "Where is aunt Kara when you need her?"

Alex laughed slightly. "Whose idea was it to take half of Grandma's library?"

Jamie made a face. "Not my fault the summer was way too short and I didn't get a chance to read all those books!"

"She gets that from you," Maggie laughed, pushing Alex slightly in her side with her elbow.

"We should be glad that she inherited this side from me," Alex said quietly, because Jamie definitely didn't need to know about her wild side. "Or would you have liked to arrest your daughter if the neighbors had complained?"

"Huh?!" Jamie looked from one mom to the other, slightly confused about what the two of them had just been talking about. "Are you talking again about the part of the past you don't want me to know about? You know aunt Kara gets very talkative when I bring her potstickers? Nobody can resist this smile and potstickers!"

With a smile on her lips, Maggie shook her head and Alex laughed heartily; she had definitely inherited her curiosity from Maggie. "Stop bribing your aunt Kara and come here, kiddo." She held her arms out and Jamie fell into her mom's arms with a smile. "We're proud of you. You're gonna do great things, Jamie." She held her tight and gave her a gentle kiss on the temple. "But remember that life isn't all about books and learning, okay? You will look back on this time forever and never want to miss anything."

Jamie nodded and squeezed Alex harder, too. "I know, Mom. Thanks. I love you."

"I love you, too." And then Alex let go of her daughter again so that Maggie could say goodbye to Jamie, too. 

Saying goodbye to Jamie affected Maggie the most. There hasn't been a day or night since Jamie was a baby where she hasn't had Jamie by her side. And now the world began to offer her a chance to explore it for herself. With a smile, she wiped some tears from her eyes, and she also took Jamie in her arms, holding her tightly. "Where has my little girl gone? Look at you! You have no idea how proud I am and always will be of you. It seems like only yesterday I held you in my arms and swore to myself I would always look after you."

"Mom, you make me cry," mumbled Jamie, who by now had a few tears in her eyes as well. She had a wonderful childhood, surrounded by love, warmth and protection. "I will miss you. I promise I will get in touch with you as often as I can."

Maggie kissed Jamie's temple as well, and then held her an arm's length away from her to look at her. "We'll miss you, too, baby. But we also want you to enjoy this time. Use the time to get to know you better, to grow, and to try new things. The world is yours for the taking. But always remember, your moms work for the law."

Jamie laughed slightly and pressed Maggie again. "I love you, Mama."

"I love you, too, baby."

Maggie let go of Jamie again and Alex was back at her side, hugging her, and together they kept their eyes on Jamie, who smiled at them, and then shouldered her backpack and set off with her suitcase on the way to a new chapter in her life. Jamie turned around again, a big smile on her lips and then it was time for her to say goodbye to her parents. It was time for Jamie to conquer the world.

She raised her hand and with a smile she waved to them once again and Maggie and Alex could not help smiling and with pride in their eyes they waved to Jamie who then turned around and finally took a step into her new life. 

But as soon as Jamie had said goodbye to her parents, she encountered her first obstacle in the form of a young woman who had suddenly appeared before her and was the reason that Jamie fell to the ground with a soft groan.

The young woman instantly apologized and held out her hand to help Jamie get back on her feet. "Oh my God, I am so sorry. I was on my way and I just..." Then she interrupted her own words when Jamie just shook her head and let her know that everything was all right. "Jamie?"

Surprised to hear her name, Jamie looked up and saw the young woman standing in front of her. "You... I... Why do you know my name?" Jamie tilted her head to one side and looked at the young woman in front of her, questioningly; something about her looked familiar. 

She just laughed, pointing to Jamie to take her hand so she could help her to her feet. "Oh Jamie," she laughed softly. "I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, but..."

And then Jamie suddenly remembered who was standing in front of her and she wouldn't be Alex's daughter if she didn't blush when a beautiful young woman held her hand. 

Yeah, maybe college wouldn't be all about studying and books. 

_2 years later_

"Baby, do you believe in soulmates?"

Tired, she opened her eyes, blinked a few times to get used to the dark. "Yes, why are you asking?" She wrapped her arms around the young woman's petite body and pulled her closer, her lips kissing her tenderly on the neck.

"We had a discussion about this in a lecture yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it since." She turned in her girlfriend's arms with a gentle smile on her lips. "So what do you think about soulmates?"

She leaned over to her girlfriend and stole a good morning kiss. "Heavy topic in the morning, huh?!"

"Morning is the only time we have to talk. We hardly have any time for ourselves anymore, Jamie," she said sadly, a little pout on her lips.

"And then you want to waste the time talking?" Jamie had a cheeky smirk on her lips, her hands slowly moving under her girlfriend's grey tank top. "There are definitely much better ways to use this time."

But her girlfriend slapped her hands lightly, and with a little _ouch_ , Jamie kept her hands off her girlfriend. "You're insatiable, babe." 

"Not my fault you're so irresistible," Jamie murmured and breathed a tender kiss on her girlfriend's neck. 

"Jamie."

She felt her girlfriend's tender hands on her shoulders, gently pushing her away. "Talk first, then sex... Maybe." 

Jamie moaned slightly, but then dropped back into her pillow. "My mom always said the universe fights for two souls to be together. Soulmates will always find their way back to each other. No matter how much love was lost, how much distance there was. You lose each other to find each other again. That's what it's like when someone is meant for you. And I saw it with my moms. They didn't always have it easy, but they always found their way back together. I can only hope that one day I find that one person who is meant for me." 

Jamie looked at her girlfriend who had a slight smile on her lips.

Slowly she leaned over to her, a sparkle in her eyes. "I can only hope that one day I'll find that person too." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah."

Neither of them could say what they wanted to say. Too scared that maybe the other one didn't feel the same. But the love in their eyes, the tender touches, the moments they spent together, should be enough for them to know that the feelings were mutual.

***

"I'm nervous." The wind blew through her dark hair, her girlfriend's hand squeezed hers slightly to give her the feeling that she was by her side.

"Why?"

Jamie shrugged her shoulders, embarrassed about it. She let go of her girlfriend's hand and put both hands in the pocket of her jeans, her eyes on the ground. "I've never brought anybody home before. I've never cared about anybody as much as I care about you, you know?" She raised her eyes and smiled softly at her girlfriend. 

"Hey," her girlfriend whispered softly, and gently brushed a strand of hair from her face, which kept coming loose from her braid of hair thanks to the wind. "There is no reason to be nervous. It's not like I'm meeting your moms for the first time today."

Jamie nodded silently. She was right. It wouldn't be the first time, yet this time was different, it was special, very special. She didn't come home with a kindergarten friend who stayed the afternoon to play, no, she came home with the girl she had developed feelings for. 

(Feelings that, if she thought about it, she had probably had for a longer time, and had not only developed when she bumped into her girlfriend on the first day of college).

"You're probably right, what could possibly happen," Jamie asked quietly, and leaned forward to give her girlfriend a gentle kiss. 

What neither of them noticed was the person standing in the window with a big grin on her face. 

"Alex! Stop spying on your daughter!" Maggie came closer and shook her head as Alex turned around with a grin. "You know how important this day is to Jamie, babe. So please..."

Alex grabbed Maggie and pulled her wife into her arms. Little wrinkles were already visible around her eyes, but Alex felt that her wife had never looked more beautiful than at that moment. "Our little girl has really grown up, huh?"

Maggie nodded, her fingers entwining with Alex's. "Come on, maybe we should get to Jamie first and let her know that she was feeling insecure for nothing." Both left the window together and stepped closer to the front door. They gave Jamie a few more minutes to collect herself and then Maggie slowly opened the door. 

"Jamie, dear, welcome home."

Jamie was slightly startled when she heard her mother's voice, and with a slightly reddened face and a shy smile turned around. "Hi, moms, you remember....".

Maggie nodded slightly and was about to say something, but she realized how Alex behind her could not keep herself from making an embarrassing comment, and she just hoped that Jamie would forgive her for embarrassing her one day. 

Alex pushed right past her wife, and Jamie could already see from her mother's grin that she wished she would vanish into thin air. "Jamie, how could we forget the girl you wanted to marry when you were a little girl?"

Jamie blushed, her girlfriend laughed slightly, while Maggie slapped Alex against her shoulder and then invited her daughter and girlfriend into the house. "Mia, dear, please ignore Alex for tonight. I'm afraid I couldn't talk her into behaving herself." She gave Alex a blaming look, but her wife just smiled. 

Mia turned to Jamie, her hand wrapped around her biceps. " Cute, I never knew I was your crush since childhood," Mia laughed as she rose to her toes and gave Jamie a gentle kiss on the cheek. "But I've always thought you were pretty cute too, you know?"

Jamie groaned softly; now it wasn't just her mom who was teasing her, but her girlfriend as well. "Mom! My girlfriend and your wife are ganging up on me!"

And Maggie couldn't help it; with a slight smile on her lips, she pulled Jamie and MIa into the warm house, and while she led the two girls into the dining room, she just couldn't help herself. "Did Jamie ever tell you how excited she always was when she could skype with you?"

"Aww, baby Jamie was excited to skype with me?" Mia's eyes lit up, and the smile on her lips got bigger and bigger.

"Baby Jamie? More likely Gay Disaster Teenage Jamie."

The three women laughed wholeheartedly, while Jamie turned redder and redder. But she couldn't be happier that Alex and Maggie were more than happy that she had found the love of her life in Mia. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed reading it :)  
> Until next time!


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